Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Notes from the Field

Here are my notes on processing Valerie Hunt's book, Infinite Mind:The Science of the Human Vibrations of Consciousness.

For me, the mind field is a concept that, in it's totality is exciting and ultimately believable, even while the logical side of me is challenged to fully grasp the components of the theory. Sorta like I felt about Santa Claus... So for the purpose of this post, and in order to get my arms around Hunt's ideas, I am going to take a page from her book and consider some personal experiences that help me locate moments in time that I have felt a connection to the mind field.

In the winter of my junior year of high school, I was at a party making out with a guy who had a truly fabulous car (1960-something GTO), and equally phenomenal body (football player). I can recall the sensations of stirrings coursing through my teenage cells, and then abruptly the message I felt like a switch go off on my skin, hair standing up on my arms, a whoosh of energy surge and evaporate. Take me home, I instructed the guy. I needed to leave. Something had changed so tangibly in me, in the world, and I didn't know what it was. He was confused and I so was I, but the message was clear. The next morning, I discovered that my best friend's battle with cancer had ended at that exact moment. I knew something based on an energetic transmission.

In 1996, Brian and I moved to Portland, OR from Boston, looking for an adventure. I had this hunch that we would end up living in Seattle, but family in Portland made it an easy stepping stone. A musician friend from Boston was living in Seattle and I was in a rush to visit him soon after my move to Portland. My experience of driving into Seattle for the first time was surreal. Approaching the city from the highway, I felt decay. I made every effort as we began to explore to stay open and enthusiastic, and yet I couldn't shake a heavy negativity. I looked forward to meeting up with my hometown friend, who had always been fun-loving. But when I arrived at our meeting spot, he was hardly recognizable. He was jittery, pale, thin and extremely pessimistic. I came to discover that he had developed a drug habit, which disturbed me greatly. It hit me as soon as he left that the way I had been experiencing the energy of the city was a prelude to my encounter with my friend. Looking back, this was an experience where the mindfield connected me with a premonitory knowing and/or an entry into the residual energy of pain and decay that the culture of the 90's left imprinted on this city: it's ghosts.

In 2006, when my pregnancy was first confirmed, I was buoyant. The first few months I felt carried on a wave of magic and everything seemed to magnetize to me. Then at 21 weeks, the ultrasound revealed both the undetected twin pregnancy and my "incompetent cervix." Not only did the language of this condition lead me to concern and self-judgement, but the attitude of the health care professionals working with me imparted fear at every turn. And I took on that fear. Not only was I afraid of how I would care for two infants, I feared that my body was not capable of carrying them to term. I told myself that if I accepted my bedrest orders and took precautions, that I had nothing to fear, over and over, that I could trust my body. And yet those seeds of fear were dropped around me constantly and by even the most well-meaning people. Other people's thoughts and emotions were perpetually flowing into my field. At this time, my 3 year old male dog became very stressed out whenever other people were around me, which generated more fear in me, that he would become aggressive. Eventually he did bite the contractor and the electrician. I hired an animal behaviorist to work with us, as I couldn't bear to give the dog up, nor bring babies into a home with an aggressive animal. She gave me a book on how animals read humans - through our body language, tone, breathing - and how we can read dogs to notice their signals and reflect back what we want to reinforce. Reading this book and working with my dogs taught me a lot about energy. If I desire a calm and relaxed response, that is what I need to put out. This reminds me of Hunt's idea that "brain washing" is actually just organizing the field. This is basically what we do in Nia when we create the space, or choose to be in 5D. Eventually with the pregnancy, the way that I could stay connected to higher emotions and vibrations, in order to lift myself out of the pool of fear was to practice Nia, even though I couldn't dance. Doing my bars, practicing RAW...I was connected with the collective energy of my tribe, working with Nia principles to design my "Labor Toolbox" (birth plan), I was in the moments of my intensive experiences, in the moments of the birth of the principles, the moments of refinements...I was transported across space/time by intention, through the field.

In the final hours of my father's life, he was transported home with all of his children and grandchildren at his bedside. He was leaving his body. His breath grew shallow and his hand in mine was growing cold. The last breath was a soft surrender, after which, all the lights in the house flared and then burnt out. This is my experience of electric energy up and out.

While Hunt's work might not make logical sense to me yet as a cohesive unit, the individual cells have resonated in my own cells and will continue to flow into the field.